Good Lord!  The world must be coming to an end; Derrick has finally said something in Derrick On that I agree with.  Derrick was right when he said, “You can’t find a decent mate at a club or bar.”  I know this is going to come as a shock to some of you party animals out there, but I have to be straightforward with you, or I would be in the wrong.  If you are hitting the bars and clubs looking for Mr. or Ms Right, you are most likely looking in the wrong place. 

I guess I have always known that the club was not the right environment in which to try to locate my Prince Charming, but I just never wanted to admit it to myself or anyone else.  However, during the Raiders playoff games, I became totally convinced that my ideal mate would not be the type of person that I was encountering at bars and clubs.  

First, I would like to take time out to make a public service announcement:  Drinking and stupidity do not mix, my friends.  A number of you gentlemen and some ladies (I use these terms loosely) need to watch your alcohol intake.  I have noticed that when someone who is not the brightest light bulb in the bunch gets a little too much, sometimes he/she begins to act a fool.  These individuals in question can turn a peaceful situation into a volatile one.  

Although I try to avoid these types of individuals and these types of situations, I always seem to meet up with the guy in the bar who is drunk and has the worst attitude in the world.  I think I have a sign on my forehead that reads “Bad attitudes and losers please apply in person.”  Keeping this in mind, you will be able to see why I have come to the conclusion that my Mr. Right or even Mr. Alright is not at the bar or the club.  

As I said earlier, it all started during the playoffs when my friends and I made our way to the local Raider hotspot.  Although I did not want to go, I went anyway, because my friends had been nagging me for weeks about how we hadn’t gone out to the bars or clubs lately.  Being the good friend that I am, I agreed to go to the bar (it also didn’t hurt that I might see some cuties) and hang out with my friends.  

When I arrived at our normally peaceful bar, I noticed something different: there were police standing guard at the door.  The police would randomly allow certain people in the crowd to enter the bar, which did not sit well with some of the members of the crowd.  I managed to make it in with the lucky few that were allowed admittance.  When I got in, I located my crew and promptly ordered myself a drink.  As soon as my drink was in my hand, a LOSER, impersonating a man, approached me and asked me to buy him a drink.  Dare I say, I was shocked and a little perplexed by his behavior?  

Now, I could have ignored him, but that is just not in my nature, so I promptly began to school him on why I would not be buying him a drink now or ever.  He was a little defensive but understanding, however, one of his friends took the news somewhat hard.  He began to spew out derogatory names and insults that were uncalled for, considering how petty the situation was.  I retaliated by calling him names that would have made a sailor blush.  We continued to argue and yell until I finally said to myself, “Why am I wasting my time on this LOSER?”  So I began to ignore him, which pissed him off and made him get louder and louder. 

This guy’s friends finally intervened and escorted him out of the building, but not before I realized how it is very common now days to hear men degrade women.  It is evident that some men feel that they can say anything to women without any consequences.  

After this episode, I realized that I have never had a good experience in a club or bar; so why was I always going there to find a man?  On my way to my car, I vowed that the next time I go to a bar, it would be just to have a drink and not to meet a man. 

My friends called me as I rode home and asked if I was up to going to a club a little later so we could try to meet some cuties.  I told them, “Hell, no! The same Losers that were in the bar will be at the club tonight, and I have already had more than enough of them.”  They were a little miffed with me, but I just can’t see how they can take going from bar to bar and club to club to meet the same kind of people.  How much more abuse do we need to take before we realize that the club scene is not about finding Mr. Right or Ms. Right; it is about finding a Mr. and Ms Right-Now. 

I think I have learned the hard way: I’ve been degraded, insulted, and cursed at by men and women. A club is a place for fun and entertainment.  When you are looking for a serious relationship, you should be open to people in different places that are doing more than shaking their groove.  If you do not open up to all the possibilities, you will likely come up short every time.
Stay Safe