by Gary N. Gray
Are Parents
Responsible for Their Disabled Children?
There
are 32-million disabled people in this county and there will be 45-million
by the year 2010; what are we going to do with these individuals? No,
disabled young adults are no longer Jerry's (Lewis) kids, and I truly
think most Americans still do not want disabled children to grow up, but
with better medicine and health products, disabled children and adults
will be on this earth a lot longer then they were 30 years ago. Parents,
the state, and the federal governments have started to look at the future
for these children. With all three working together, it seems like a
bright and beautiful future for these disabled children.
I will try to answer some
of the burning issues of disabled children and the parents of disabled
adults. The first is what to do with these young, bright, and beautiful
disabled adults after the age of 18. What happens and why? This is a
long-standing burning question in the disabled community. The question
that still remands unanswered today. What responsibilities do the state
and federal governments, and the parents have to these disabled young
adults? What do we do with these individuals once they grow up into
adulthood? Who is legally responsible for the living conditions of
the children? Is the state responsible for these disabled children? Is the
federal government responsible for their welfare? Or do the parents have
the sole responsibility for them?
First of all, there are so many levels of disabilities with so many
different and special problems--mobility, speech, and learning skill
levels will be at many different levels, so each disabled person must be
looked at individually. The state, the federal government, the parents,
and the disabled person all have to work together to get the correct
evaluation of what he/she can and cannot do on his/her own. The state is
responsible for the education of this child until age 18.
The state is responsible for getting the child to and from school safely
and with as much convenience for that disabled child as possible. The
state has to make reasonable accommodations for these children, but the
state is also responsible for teaching the disabled child’s parents the
civil rights of that child. The state is responsible for getting this
information to the disabled child's parents. The state is responsible for
seeing that the child has, at least, a chance to get a high school diploma
if he/she is mentally able to do so.
Most parents of disabled children do not know this and take on all the
tasks themselves. Parents in the end get burnt out. The state is
there to assist in these matters.
Call your local Unified School District, and they should direct you to the
right departments.
Once the child is 18, the federal government takes over some of these
responsibilities. What I mean is this: there are many federal laws to help
disabled young adults. Every college in America will have to be accessible
to the disabled by the year 2010. There are federal grants to assist these
schools to make it so. The disabled young adult will now be eligible for a
stipend each month called, Social Security Income SSI. This
is government money for the disabled to help pay for rent and food from
month to month. Also, a disabled person can get money to help pay for
personal care attendant (person who helps them around the house, getting
into or out of bed and help with cooking, cleaning, and bathing.) This is
called In Home Support Services (IHSS). Each county has its own
Social Security Administration Office; you can call the operator or look
in your local phone book for the correct address and number. Every parent
of a disabled child should use this service if they qualify.
These young disabled people should also apply for Medical and Medicare.
You can do this by writing:
The United States Department of Health
and Human Services
7500 Security Boulevard
Baltimore, Maryland 21244-1850
1-800-633-4227 or TTY/TDD 1-877-486-2048
You can also go on line at www.medicare.gov
.
At
the age of 18, these children are eligible for SSI or SSDI.
And you should call the
Social Security Administration
1-800-722-1213 or
TTY/TDD 1-800-325-0778
This could ease the
burden of the disabled child's parents’ thinking they have to do
everything for this child. It can also give the parents free time to work
with other children in the family.
Ultimately, the responsibilities of any disabled child will be the
parents’ as soon as the baby is born. Disabled children grow up in the
same manner as able-bodied children, only they might need more help at
times then non-disabled children. Parents have extra duties with these
children, like taking them to special doctors; parents have to give them
physical therapy.
Parents have to learn what disability their child has and work from that
point; parents also have to plan ahead when they go on vacation and other
outings with these children.
All parents must shield their children from harm; this is certainly true
with disabled children—especially harm from other children’s teasing
because they are different. Parents also must have a say in disabled young
adults’ dating just like parents of able-bodied children.
Parents
must teach their children how to grow up. Some parents of disabled
children relish this task; others are overwhelmed from all of the duties a
parent has with a disabled child and give up as soon as they can. What do
I mean by this? Some disabled folk like me can and will do most things by
themselves, with little or no assistance from friends, parents, or
attendants. As for me, I had two working parents both were schoolteachers
and both came home late in the afternoon; we were called latchkey kids.
We did not feel that way, however, my sister and I helped each other out
when we needed it. So when I came home from school, I made my own snacks
and got my own drinks. My parents
taught me how to put my clothes on, how to cook, how to wash myself, and
how to eat. At a very young age, my mother told me you are going to live
alone one day, and I can't do this all of your life. She was correct
thirty-five years ago.
My parents took the time to do all of these things so I could be as independent as I wanted to be. Some parents do not want to push their disabled children, hence, they never learn how to be independent, and they become dependent on others all their lives.
Other
disabled children who cannot do these things depend on others to give them
everything. Their parents want a life of their own, and when the disabled
child becomes an every-hour, everyday thing, parents have to make a
decision for their lives or the disabled child's life. Most of the time,
the parents choice to help their child, but there are a few who put their
children in rest homes, care centers, or senior centers. They are put
there for the rest of their natural lives. The responsibilities for the
upkeep of that child are turned over to the nursing homes.
So
my question was are parents responsible for their disabled children. The
answer is very easy and very simple, yes, until they become adults.
Yes, until they learn how to function in this world. Yes,
until they get the proper education.
Some
parents may try to shift the responsibility to the state; some try to
shift it to the federal government; and some just give up altogether, but
the answer is still yes, the parents are the core providers and
educators for disabled children, as it should be. []
Gary Norris Gray
