.... ....................................Why Fit In?.........................

"There is no reason for you to try to become like white people and there is no basis whatever for their impertinent assumption that they must accept you." --James Baldwin

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Navigating the Triple Quandary (mainstream, minority and Black Culture) is an intellectual and physical juggling act of its own. Some African Americans do not know the triple quandary exists, therefore, some African Americans do not know where they fit in, how to move in, or how to identify, or take control of their destiny.  “Fitting in” is a term meaning to be a part of.  African Americans are constantly in search of fitting in. It is clear that the aim is mainstream America and the American Dream. Recognition, respect, and equality are always sought after.  

But face it, America is not about to share its wealth; they'll spend it first and tell you there’s a deficit, while submitting you to oppressive measures to keep you hushed up, medicated, and quiet or incarcerated. Navigating the system is a much harder task for African Americans.  Stagnation has taken its toll because some African Americans are both consciously and unconsciously living based on Euro-American ideological terms; that mainstream is where they want to be, and forget those who do not make it.  The dividing habitual thought process, passed down from slavery, now staggers the uplift of some African Americans.  "It ain't happening to me," "Not in my backyard," "Why fix something that isn't broken,"--you know the slogans used to keep oppression alive, while accepting denial. 

Some African Americans with subservient power, for example supervisors, lead clerks, representatives, etc., who get on that ego power trip because of their little positions, are brain-washed to think they are in fact the master, but they still live in the hood with you after work. These types of individuals view their own people as a negative. Some actually play the power trip and continue the oppressive manner toward their own people to make themselves look good to their oppressors’ (many) faces.  That says much for the task of navigating and negotiating the triple quandary. 

Some African Americans cause each other to stagnate by wearing multiple roles, and displaying multiple faces.  From where does this attitude and behavior evolve?  It has been passed down from slavery.  You know the ones; as Malcolm X once so eloquently put it, “The house Negroes says to their master ‘What's the matter boss, we sick?’" The same concept applies today.  How do Blacks fit in?  This should be already known from the existing paradigm.  Many Blacks do not have a clue as to what is going on, and some (sadly) do not care.  African Americans, during childhood, learn about racism in many ways, through different experiences encountered outside of the immediate household. The American social system makes sure of it.  But what gets to me is that somewhere during the transition from teens to adults, those feeling that result from racism become watered down or accepted, which causes some African American adults to lose sight of cultural morals and values as they assimilate into a mainstream way of life. 

How are African Americans supposed to identify, when some leaders are silent? Some leaders are watered down and afraid to speak their minds; other so-called leaders are sell- outs for monetary, materialistic and sexual gains.  Superstars make millions and don't even come home to the hoods like in the old days. Jackie Robinson, Joe Louis, Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Sugar Ray Robinson, etc., used to go to the hoods in the ghettoes, and walk, talk, and spend time with the people. They built restaurants and businesses in these communities, producing jobs and incomes for those who lived in poverty, or had been unemployed or disenfranchised.  They signed autographs, and gave some African Americans the will, hope and desire to break the cycle of inferiority.  In this day and age, you can walk up to the Great Barry Bonds and YOU WILL NOT get an autograph.  The minds of children and adults who look up to their sport heroes are boggled and confused, because they can't understand why a celebrity is so distant, to the point of seeming inhuman, up close.  If the athletes continue to take clauses in their contracts separating them from those who support them, then who are the sell-outs?   

The great Michael Jordan is donating his entire year’s salary to the victims of New York.  I don't want to “be like Mike”.  I would rather see him come to the low-socio-economic neighborhoods and play ball with the kids, and build some good thing in some of these disenfranchised neighborhoods.  New York raised billions, all praises due to God.  Now, life goes on for the poor Black children and families, and people of color.  Who is donating to them?  The government with Tanf!  African American adults and children need identity, and others to identify with.  The ones who are good Negroes are not identifiable.  Some Black entertainers are doing good things as long as the camera is rolling and their name can ring.  What is done in the dark comes to the light, and we need the ones who care and love self and us, and are not afraid to represent us. 

I remember in 1981, I met Marvin Gaye at the San Francisco Airport.  I spoke to him and he spoke back.  The next thing you know, we sat down and talked for about 45 minutes until his manager and wife came back to him, saying "We got to go."  Marvin Gaye was down to earth, and there was a connection, to be in the presence of one of the greatest R&B solo artists.  This enlightened me and motivated me to become a better person.  I remember in 1999, I was Aaliyah’s bodyguard, in San Francisco, at Fort Mason, for the MTV DJ contest.  This artist was so nice and real.  She took her time to give autograph to as many that approached her that she could.  She took pictures with anyone who presented a camera.  She treated her fans like royalty, and I was very impressed with her delightful personality and smile.  She would have signed autographs down to the last fan if time permitted.  Now, her attitude alone made her legendary.  I can identify with that and so could other African Americans.  Around 1994, Charles Barkley was walking in downtown SF, on Market Street.  He was approached by fans, but he shined them on with a frown, as if they were residual from the ground.  They were African American, and one was a sister.  She felt angered by the way he treated them.  Now, I can't even identify with that, and neither could other African Americans, regardless if he was having a bad day (if used as an excuse).  

My point is that there are not enough Black Americans who have made it who will show up today to help transform our people from a negative to a positive.  It is noted by psychiatrists, historians and sociologists that African Americans commonly attribute negative connotations to their skin color, because studies always use Euro-American standards.  In Black child development, tests and statistics on IQs, self-esteem, gender identification, language, and childrearing are always analyzed using Euro-American ideas and theories, making Blacks viewed as deviant, uncivilized, or, not "normal".  These dehumanizing, stigmatizing labels are put on non-whites who do not measure up to the Euro-American paradigm.  The inferiority complex is setting in to create MAAF, or disaster (Stewart).  So why compete to try to fit in?  It is a known fact that Ebonics is a language derived from West Africa, Niga-Congo, Caribbean, and U.S. enslaved ancestors.  Some of our leaders are ignorant to the fact and call it Black English, when English is Germanics. The caregivers, therefore, look at how our children speak as a negative, in most schools.  But hanging up pictures of Michelangelo’s nephew posing as Jesus is accepted, and is right. 

Racism continues and some of our major leaders are silent.  Most of our real leaders are in the educational institutions on college campuses trying to educate some of us, trying to prevent us from just getting schooled to get a paying job after graduation, the way most students of color are taught.  But we need more leaders who are outspoken, and not afraid to speak the mind of the masses.  How are African Americans supposed to take control of their destiny? Some cannot identify, fit in, or even negotiate the Triple Quandary, because their own people are throwing roadblocks.   

The media is quick to point out the negatives, like the SF Chronicle’s, Tuesday, Nov 20, 2001, front page article "Poll on black life in America." The small “b” said it all before you could even reach the article.  I read that article and all the negative statistics such as the one which stated that Black females from 18 to 29 say African American men are irresponsible.  I read this article and what I read was the Willie Lynch theory, pit old black male vs. young Black male, pit Black male vs. Black female...get the point?  That is what I got out of that front page edition:  negativity.  The media heightened the issues and arranged their “data” so the average reader would agree.  Then what, more self-hatred in our community so we can be their stereotypical guinea pigs?  

I don't care if BET had a hand in it; they are promoting some garbage on their network anyway: for example, the cartoon female, stereotyped with the Amos and Andy shuffle.  They exploit and capitalize upon their own people, and we are supposed to take heed to them?  They promote about as much negativity to our culture that the Lord should allow for capital gains:  rappers on the air exploiting Black females as nothing more than sex objects/toys, and when mentioned in their lyrics they are referred to as "bitches" and you say “Ahhhhh”.  The Euro-American paradigm has characteristics of objectivity, materialistic, individualistic, and effortlessness, to name a few, and I found all of these characteristics in that article.  

Once again, the seed has been planted, Black America, for you to continue to “dis” each other, look down on each other, promote hate for each other (especially the Black extinct male) as if incarcerating us isn't enough.  Read between the lines, African Americans-- the media will help send subliminal messages to keep you divided and conquered, and your inferiority complex will flourish.