Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

Should everyone be entitled to know their biological parents?   Is it OK for a woman to deny her child the right to know who his or her biological father is? I am sure every situation is different, however, no child should be cheated out of the knowledge of a father, especially when the motive for that denial is revenge. Even if the relationship between the father and mother doesn't work out, there is a certain reality for a child that has to be considered. Denying a child access to one parent or the other will only hurt the child. In a situation like this, the child s reality and needs must take precedence over the needs of the estranged partners.  

Lies, regardless of how white you think they are, will catch up with you and have that inevitable snowball effect.  Eventually, your child is going to have some questions, especially if he or she doesn't look like the other members of your family.  

I am sure that there are those who would say that it doesn't matter who the parents are, as long as children have parents who love them. I disagree with that way of looking at this situation. For many, never knowing their biological fathers, becomes a mama's baby and daddy's maybe.   

In 1985, on a sunny, summer, August day, someone's child, then grown to adulthood, received a phone call from a man proclaiming to be his father.  He said, Hello, my name is ABC, and I am your father.   He told the young man something about himself, but the young man thought the call was a crank call. He replied,  Mister, I've never heard of you. You must be looking for someone else with the same name.  It can't be me, you are mistaken because my birth certificate lists my father as DEFG.  

The adult child hung up, but doubts arose in his mind, and he questioned his mother; after much prompting, the mother confessed that the person listed on his birth certificate was not his father, and that she has no idea who the name listed on his birth certificate belonged to. 

This child was troubled because his real father who was finally acknowledging him as his child, but he, having believed that the name listed on the birth certificate was correct, threw away his only chance to meet and know his true father. This tragedy was the result of a mother not telling a child the truth about his or her parentage. 

If parents told the truth, things would be much simpler. Children deserve to know their biological parents. []

..Home