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I write this essay after talking to my son who was in Iraq as a frontline
combat marine. He is a war hero not merely because he went, albeit
unwillingly, and came back alive but because of his actions there. As he
went on a mission to rescue stranded marines whose truck had broken down, he
and his fellow marines were attacked by an SUV suicide bomber as they
returned from that rescue. Many of the men with him were killed, as he was
blown out of the truck into the air. But for the grace of God he too would
have been killed.
At his return to Oakland after his tour of duty he
received no hero's welcome, no write up in the local newspapers, no
interviews on local TV; he merely came home quietly after serving. That is
our family's way! Yes, he did received a Purple Heart for his bravery, and
although we are not of those who crow of heroism, he ranks among the many
other quiet and unceremonial heroes.
Since returning, we have talked much about that war and
his feelings about what he experienced there; this essay will reflect some
of his feelings. FAJ
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The military likes to keep things sounding rosy even when they are not.
For instance, the mounting costs of this war are slipped by the American
people through
quiet piecemeal appropriations in Congress for the war.
The amounts the US is spending for this Iraq war look like this: $275 billion thus far
(2003-2006) and
mounting at a rate of $10 billion a month. This is only the
appropriations for the troops there, not those wounded (17,500 by US
government figures) or killed (2,400 US soldiers by US figures); not
counting the approximately 150,000 who will come back with Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder or the 17,500 who have physical wounds that they will live with
the rest of their lives.
And they will have benefits paid to them by the
government for the rest of their lives.
Also, there are costs that are paid to Iraqis whose properties and lives
were taken and destroyed by the US military or their mercenaries accidentally,
illegally, or in error.
Another cost that is slipped by the American people is the total number of civilians killed in action. From various sources, the number is 34,511 to
38,660, according to
http://www.iraqbodycount.net/. Iraqis killed are charted below,
even though one callous Bush Administration official commented when asked about
Iraqis killed, "They don't count." Someone thinks they count and has
been keeping count:
CIVILIANS
REPORTED VIOLENTLY KILLED PER MONTH
(tabular)
| MONTH* |
NUMBER KILLED |
| May-03 |
554 |
| Jun-03 |
573 |
| Jul-03 |
633 |
| Aug-03 |
781 |
| Sep-03 |
543 |
| Oct-03 |
485 |
| Nov-03 |
460 |
| Dec-03 |
524 |
| Jan-04 |
562 |
| Feb-04 |
580 |
| Mar-04 |
953 |
| Apr-04 |
1227 |
| May-04 |
612 |
| Jun-04 |
829 |
| Jul-04 |
746 |
| Aug-04 |
812 |
| Sep-04 |
893 |
| Oct-04 |
894 |
| Nov-04 |
1490 |
| Dec-04 |
882 |
| Jan-05 |
993 |
| Feb-05 |
1148 |
| Mar-05 |
734 |
| Apr-05 |
955 |
| May-05 |
1181 |
| Jun-05 |
1188 |
| Jul-05 |
1393 |
| Aug-05 |
2078 |
| Sep-05 |
1211 |
| Oct-05 |
1100 |
| Nov-05 |
1192 |
| Dec-05 |
916 |
| Jan-06 |
613** |
| Feb-06 |
524** |
A figure not widely known is the number of US military deserters. As was
the case in Vietnam, there were deserters, so are there deserters from the
Iraqi war. There have been about 8,000 deserters who have refused to serve and
have gone awol. These are young men who wanted to live and were afraid they would die
as so many have in this ugly war. While we honor those who have gone to Iraq
at peril to their lives, and dishonor the man or men who needlessly placed
them there, we understand those 8,000 who deserted--they were mostly
kids who wanted an education, not fight a needless war in defense of
nothing.
There is a haunting sadness that comes over me whenever I look at the pictures of
young men who have died so needlessly in this war so far away from home. I am not sure this is
just my feelings since my son was nearly killed and wounded while in Iraq or if it is the power
of the photos themselves. You decide, look at cnn.com's markup of those young
American faces who have died in Iraq:
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/. So
young and so needless was their deaths, regardless of the twisted spin this
Republican government puts on this unpatriotic war.
The other statistic that is not widely known is the rising suicide rates
among soldiers. There has been a spike in US soldier suicides. The first year
there were 17 suicides, the second year there were 25, and that number has
increased to 83 deaths in 2005. The agony of my son was, no doubt, the agony
of every young American soldier there:
A night in Iraq seems like a thousand years for a soldier; you
lie awake waiting for anything to happen, hoping that the daylight will
come and you will still be here; you are so far from home, and so young.
You wonder if you will ever make it home again; it is miserable, it is
hell, and it is almost unbearable!
And that may explain why the
suicides have increased and there is a desertion rate of 8,000 soldiers.
The military tells their young soldiers how well they are armed
compared to others and that they are the best trained military in the world,
but Jihadist Iraqis who are willing to die will shatter that military reality. And
a new reality sets in. That reality is this: you
are not invincible, your mortality crushes in upon you and
you realize that death is near you, as you see your
fellow soldiers go out and not come back.
This explains why my son hugs me so frequently whenever I take what I
consider a short trip to Los Angeles from Oakland. He tells me, "Dad, I know, after Iraq, that it can happen to me. My young sense of
immortality and invincibility is gone! I have seen men die next to me. It is
not the other fellow that things happen to; it can be me!"
These are the
types of feelings that young American boys far away from home are feeling,
as Bush and Cheney sit safe and secure, not seemingly understanding or
caring about the anguish of those whom they have placed in harm's way. I have my son back safely, but there are thousands of parents who have
suffered and may suffer the loss of their children's lives and limbs; there are parents who
have children who are suffering the same anguish my son experienced daily--a suffering I am
not unfamiliar with, as I agonized in prayer and hoped for the safe return of my
son in one piece. This is why we cannot allow this administration to run
amok with the lives of our children as it pursues wars in various places
around the world under the guise of fighting terrorism.
Osama Bin Ladden is still alive and making videos to the world as a testament
to the Bush Administration's incompetence. And this administration is
incompetently
fighting the wrong nation and prosecuting the wrong war for the wrong
reasons at great expense of human lives
and US taxpayers' money.
As retired US generals are finally speaking out against this
ugly war, it is time for the American people to finally speak out more forcefully
saying, bring
this Vietnam style Iraqi debacle to an end. Let us stop this government from
torturing our children.
"Bring the boys home; bring them back alive!
[Freda
Payne]
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