A weekly dialogue of ideas on matters of a religious nature. If you have a question or a subject you need an answer to, put it to our local ministers for their ideas

This series of Bible discussions is taken from a book by the name: I Speak Concerning Christ and the Church, written some years ago. It is about marriage, but not marriage as it is an institution unto itself, but marriage as a peculiar institution that is a type and shadow of a future reality, viz., of Christ and the Church in the future.

If a wife disregards her husband, she denies the teachings of the church. And that is a denial of what God demonstrates in the an analogy of marriage. Because it is an analogy of what God is to do in us here after, marriage is a sacred institution that must be safeguarded. Deviations from it brings the wrath of God. Notice the language of God (1 Tim. 5:8) and (Titus 3:10).

Peter said, wives be in subjection to your own husbands, and by so doing, if any husband obey not the word, he will be won by the godly behavior of the wife (1 Peter 3:1). This can be a very harsh reality, but God is concerned about the sanctity of this union for reasons that exceed the union itself.

Many have become so entangled with personalities that they forgot the needs of the union and became unwilling to hear scriptural admonitions, if it is in contradiction to their particular entanglement. Only God can change a situation so contorted (Titus 3:10). When a wife's love exceeds the boundaries of the marriage, to the extent of destroying the marriage, that, of course, is a sad situation. Yet it is one many situations many find themselves in today.

Peter stated that wives should be in subjection as Sarah was to Abraham. Sarah called Abraham lord (Gen. 18:12; 1 Peter 3:1-6). This is not to say that the husbands should think of themselves as dictators. For they will not long endure in this society today! Nor is this scripture saying that the husband has all of the knowledge on the subject so that the wife's opinion is rejected immediately. This scripture, indeed, must come into conformity to other scriptures. But note, this scripture treats the saved wife and the unsaved husband situation specifically.

Those who say, "I would rather obey God than man" often use that particular Scripture to skill themselves from the disobedience to the word they are engaging in. This is wrong and should not occur. A wife, or anyone else, can not obey God and go in direct contradiction to 1 Peter 3:1, which says obey your husband. If one does not want the truth,that person will believe a lie and be damned (2 Thes. 2:10-11). This is the trick of the deceiver.

The apostle Paul said, "the head of every woman is the man." Of course, he was not saying that a man heads every woman.. He refers only to the marriage. The head of every married woman is her husband, not another person's husband. The scripture says that every married man heads his own wife, not someone else's. Paul shows the connection between the marriage and the church: "The head of every man is Christ . . and the head of Christ (church) is God" (1 Cot. 11:3). Again, God has something He is working out in the marriage union that relates to the church.

In Colossians 3:18, Paul said to the wives that they are to submit themselves to their own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. The expression, "As it is fit in the Lord" is the area of concentration of this verse. The argument usually runs like this: "One must obey God rather than man, and since a husband is unsaved, or what he is asking of me is unspiritual (according to their own determination), I am not obligated by the word to obey it or him." This is usually self-deceiving and a wrong division of the Word of God. We must rightly divide the Word of Truth (2 Tim. 2:15). Such reasoning will allow a person (wife) the opportunity to do anything she wants to if she independently determines that her husband's action is not a spiritual action.

The Bible says, "As is fit in the Lord." This term refers immediately to the rest of the scriptures. It is saying that to be in obedience is right for those who are in the Lord--saved. 1 Peter 3:1-8, shows what is fit for those in the Lord: Peter says that they must obey unsaved and saved husbands, and in due time, God will save that unsaved person.. And in so doing, they do that which is "fit in the Lord". The verse in Colossians 3:17-18, verse 17, says that when you submit yourselves, do it in Jesus' name. And in Ephesians 5:22, the same writer says that wives must submit themselves to their own husbands as unto the Lord. This is one of the strongest statements that is made about the role of the wife to the husband in the New Testament Church. This statement should close arguments about to what extent the submission must occur. It must be absolute, as it is to God. This Scripture also says that one can not resist her husband's will and please God. A wife cannot disrespect her husband and respect God because God. When one fails in this, she fails God (Eph. 5:23,33).

The consequence of a rationalization of disobedience to God's word is that one becomes deceived in his own ignorance (Prov. 26:4-5). Soon he thinks that the wrong he is doing is right (Mal. 2:17) and then God will give him up to believe a complete lie (2 Thes. 2:10-12; Romans 1:28-31). This is the danger of not believing the word of God as it is written. God has forbade man to trust in man and not in Him. He said, woe unto them who go down to Egypt for help, who trust in the arm of flesh. (Isa. 30:1-2; Jer. 17:5).

Believers should esteem the word of God more than our necessary food, or God will allow them to believe a lie and be damned. (Job 23:12; 2 Thes. 2:10).

The Husband's Role
This position must be understood also. In Ephesians 5:22-32, Paul says that the marriage union, if understood, will bring about an understanding of the church. He said that the husband is the head of wife, as Christ is the head of the church and the savior of the body (verse 23). This statement does more than say that the man is head of the woman (wife). It says what his role is toward her. Because she is the weaker vessel, he must protect her from harm (1 Peter 3:7). Notice the clear symbolism: mankind was as the woman is, the weaker vessel--while we were without strength Christ died for us (Romans 5)--and Christ became the savior of the body (Eph. 5: 23-25).

The world thought that Christ's death was weakness, but God knew it was strength. This applies to the marriage also. Peter said that the husband must dwell with the wife in knowledge (1 Peter 3:7). This means that sometimes the husband's actions may be viewed as weakness while they may be strength. There are times when it is necessary that the husband's position is not the road taken by the family. Wisdom will concede the insignificant in order to achieve the significant and make it more palatable when the time comes. The husband should occasionally give in to the wife on things they differ about when her reasoning is stronger. This is the road most wisely taken.

In verse 25, of Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul says to the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. This is a great love. The reason for His love as in the next verses is to sanctify it, cleanse it, and present it to Himself without spot, wrinkle, or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish. This indicates that the love of the wife should not be to her destruction and dishonor, but to her honor and perfection. One does not love his wife to allow and encourage her to do those things destructive to the union and herself!

Men should love their wives as themselves, for they are one. No man hates himself (unless he is sick). But when he is normal he will nourish himself and provide those things for his pleasure and contentment (Eph. 5:29). Paul concluded by saying "let every husband love the wife as himself". Treat her as you treat your own flesh. One would not beat his flesh, unless he is mentally sick; one would not abuse his flesh; one would not speak harshly to his own flesh; one would not fail to consider his own flesh. The two are one. And those whom God has united, let no man (inclusive of the husband) put asunder (Matt. 19:6; Mark 10:9).

The indivisibility of the Union
Adam realized that the woman was made of and from him. She was not made independently as he was made, but she was made of him, as the church is made of and from and through the body of Christ--the second Adam. Adam exclaimed that "this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh, therefore, she shall be called woman", because she was taken from him.

God placed in man (by taking out of him) a need and weakness for the woman--a weakness He demands that all men overcome. Man had a need for companionship, but that need was further enlarged when He took out of man a part of him to make the woman. Because there is such a need, a man will leave his father and mother for a wife, and they shall then, and again, be one flesh (Gen. 2:23-24).

The two, at marriage, merge their individual identities into one identity. In the beginning of this institution, God's plan for marriage was that it symbolize the church. When Satan found what that plan was, the spirit of disobedience was set at work to destroy it.

Even under The Law, God viewed the union of two into marriage as one. He placed strong regulations about that union and areas pertaining thereto. In Leviticus 18, God said that: Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness (Verse 16). To uncover the nakedness of the brother's wife was to uncover thy brother's nakedness. This is because the two cannot be separated; they have been made one in marriage. In the 8th verse, the same logical extension is made about uncovering the father's wife's nakedness. Genesis 2:24, was God's plan for the marriage, that the two should be, in fact, one flesh and so viewed and seen by all as one. (Mart. 19:6; Mark 10:9). The church and Christ will be one.

The above concept is important for understanding some of the greater truths of the Bible, especially the Book of Revelations: when the marriage occurs, the names change to one name. The identity is one also. (The two merge and dissolve into one union as many waves of a sea merge into one. This is the identity we (the church--the Lamb's wife) will have with Christ throughout the ages. This is revealed in the Book of Revelations.[] To be continued.