A friend invited me to St. Paul's AME Church in Berkeley, California on Fathers Day. Upon entering this beautiful new building, you could hear male voices singing the praises of the LORD. Singing for their happiness and their salvation. It sure sounded like they were enjoying themselves that Sunday.

The church had a designated area for the disabled in the front row. One of Saint Paul's ushers guided me to this section. Sitting there next to me was a family of six--mother, father, daughter, and an older son. They also had a set of twin girls. These little girls were dressed for church in their finest attire and their eyes open wide, receptive to the world around them. It just amazed me the way this father held each twin. When the mother finished feeding one, he took her into his arms, held her and talked to her. This father kisses his baby over and over. You could hear the sounds of joy coming from this little female body. This father cooed and wooed his little girl and she loved it. When the mother finished feeding the second child, the proud father once again held her and talked to the second twin. She too began to smile and talk back to her father. It was so wonderful to observe this interaction in person. On this fine morning we were all witnessing the bonding of child to father.

This is what America needs and should strive for, loving and peaceful families. The preacher looked in our corner many times while he was preaching to the congregation. Right in the middle of the message he pointed to the father and his family and said, "See this is what I'm talking about on this blessed day. You, my fine black brother, are a wonderful father. This is the example America needs to see but never gets to see."

We Lead to respect and we respect to lead. Our great nation has lost many of its African American fathers. Our nation has lost many African American male political leaders and an African American male social and political consciousness. Fathers, it's time to bring them all back home. It is time to "Honor Thy father." We have to reclaim the family, reclaim the streets, reclaim our homes. This should be the goal of the 2003 African American male; we should not just be fathers to our child but fathers to every black child on our street, every black child in our neighborhood, every black child in our district, every black child in our state, and yes every black child in our country. It is time for African Americans to define the role of father, not the government of the United States.

Fathers need to teach and preach whenever and how ever they can; fathers need to help the homeless and the disabled at least once a day; fathers need to be fathers to the many fatherless African American children in this country; fathers, it is our duty to stop this country's Black On Black violence.

It is our duty to stop the drug dealing on our streets; it is our duty to stop our women from selling themselves to the highest bidder; stop being with every Jaquinta, Malika, and Mary and go home and stay home with our wives. It is time to show the world what's right without might--violence is a dead end street; a concept our white fathers in Washington have not learned.

George Thomas Gray II, is my father, and I am a Godfather. This tradition of fathers continues with my eight wonders of this world--eight beautiful young people soon to be nine on July 27,2003; eight people that their Godfather has guided in life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. Being a substitute father is the next best thing.

Fathering is our community responsibility. This week while sitting in my family's back yard, I saw a sister of one of my classmates driving up and parking on our street. My father and I did not recognize this person at first. This sister got out of the car put a baseball bat near the car and took off down the street. Looking at her face we both could see anger in her eyes. A little boy from our block picked up the baseball bat from the street and took off with it. Thank goodness because that eliminated a chance of deadly violence. When this sister came back, the bat was gone. I recognized who she was and told her to come to me. She reluctantly did. She stated that she was having problems with somebody, and if she had to use the bat she would.

Grabbing her hand, we began to talk and she began to cry; we gave each hugged her and she promised that she would not be back that night. That is being a father right then; being a father in a time of need that is what this country needs, and its time we African American brothers step up. Its time my African American brother to do a good deed each day. Enjoy each deed not because you have to, but because you want too. I love that little sister that wanted to do to battle that night and I always will. Fathering and loving troubled youths should be one of the goals of African American Men. This is the Spirit of a father. []
Republished 4.25.05

THAT IS THE GRAY LINE