Gary N. Gray,
the Grayline

Comedy & The Disabled Heroes

Never underestimate the powers of the handicapped. A statement spoken repeatedly by my favorite one and only Black Disabled hero: HANDIMAN IS ON THE CASE. For the first time in history, Black Disabled Americans now have a funny hero. For the first time a person with Cerebral Palsy is a hero we can believe, and he’s is a brother too. WOW!  Thanks to In Living Color and Home Box Office: 

Look up in the sky, 
It’s a bird, It’s a plane,
No, it’s a flying wheelchair 

This hero is not like any other hero. He dresses in a bright blue suit with the international disabled logo on the chest—and looking good, too. He has a funny walk and sometimes you can’t understand what he is saying, but you know that he is here to help the disabled.   

This hero flies all over the place, zigzagging everywhere. He cannot fly straight even though he wants to.  Up is down and down is up. Despite his super strength, he still cannot control certain behaviors. His landings are always awkward and clumsy, as he falls on people, falls on cars, and trains. He does not mean to hurt people, but he cannot control the body God gave him--this wonderful person. He can’t perform like the other super heroes. And people don’t expect much from this hero. As the capped body crashes through walls, doors, and windows, mobility, the friend of most super heroes is the enemy of this super freak. Landing on the ground in so many different positions, one tends to think this hero could do nothing right, but look silly. 

He gets a call from somebody in a wheelchair that needs to use the disabled stall in the restroom. A non-disabled person has just put his butt on the seat. This non-disabled person has given no thought to what and whom these stalls were made for. This non-disabled person couldn't care less that this stall is the only one in the restroom for a person with a disability.  As the interloper sits there doing his business, the hero flies out the window of his home, crashing to the ground at takeoff once again, the regular routine for this masked crusader. Then he gets it together and flies to his destination, the public restroom. Again the hero crashes to the floor and slides across it. It seems to be his normal arrival procedure. 

WHEW. He knocks on the stall reserved for the disabled:

“Sir, do you know that you are in a disabled stall?” The man answers, “Yes, and I’m staying here until I’m finished, thank you. I just got here.”
‘But sir, there’s a man here in a wheelchair who needs to use that stall, so please, sir, could you move to another one?” 
“NO, I’m sitting now, I’ll be out in a few minutes; just wait.”

With that statement, the hero busts the door down and grabs the man by the collar.  The non-disabled man looks in horror at this blue suited person coming at him. The hero throws him to the floor and stands over him saying:

“NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWERS OF THE HANDICAPPED.” The disabled man wheels into the stall, cheering with joy and laughter. Yes, Handiman was a stumbling, bumbling fool, but at least he tried to help others. It may have taken him a little longer, and he may have done it in a very strange way, but the job got done. 

Please, people, when you’re parking your car, do not take the blue parking space. Not even for a minute, because a disabled person might need that spot. The disabled person's choices are very limited compared to yours. When you go to a baseball game, please do not take the disabled seating; we enjoy the game too. When you are making a phone call and a disabled person wants to use that lower leveled phone bank, please let them.  OR I’LL CALL HANDIMAN ON YOU!

Handiman broke the ice with able-bodied people. It was a grand tour of the disabled world for the non-disabled, and it was done in a funny way. It allowed able-bodied people to ask questions openly and freely about how we, the Black disabled, live.
AMERICA CAN NO LONGER IGNORE US
I AM SOMEBODY, THANK YOU, HANDIMAN!

This is the GRAYLINE