So the nation is looking and laughing at us because of the strange political confusion in this state; well, we have been strange in many things political. It is true that this recall mess is more bizzare than usual, and that takes some doing, but we are uncanny in many other ways.

As of this writing there are over 150 candidates who have paid their $3,500 and gotten 65-150 signatures needed to run for governor of the grand state of California. After carefully looking at the names available and the cities from which they come, I am proud to say, and I hold my breath, not one is from Oakland. We already have Jerry Brown, the man from nowhere, as an elected mayor of this wonderful city by the bay.

But enveloped by Oakland is Piedmont, a small, rich enclave, and from it comes the opportunist of opportunists, Audie Bock, a 57-year-old Piedmont resident who is a Democrat that switched to the Green Party, turned Independent and then returned to the Democratic fold again, although Democrats wish she would just go away: out of the country. She runs for any office available and actually managed to slip into one and became confused trying to manage her staff. Her campaigning for Congresswoman Barbara Lee's seat was very painful to watch; she was going from one absurdity to the next so that many started feeling she is not all there.

Of the vast array of candidates, Larry Flint filed, a porno star filed, and a number of unheard of candidates are hoping to slip in through a name that has a familiar ring--Dan Feinstein, and other names that sound familiar and official.

Darrell Issa, the auto burglar alarm made millionaire who spent $1.7 million of his own money to recall Davis became stranger as his hopes of becoming governor went down the drain with the ludicrousness of it all, tearfully bowing out with $1.7 million less in his port folio.

And Michael Huffington, former Congressman and former candidate for US Senate announced he would run, but changed his mind, and on national TV lambasted his ex-wife, Arianna Huffington, because she is running. He raised a most un-peculiar issue, namely that her running is hurting their teenage children and they have moved back with him. That is a strange morality for one who lives the open lifestyle he lives; it was Michael Huffington, after his loss of the US Senate race, at the expense of about $37 million of his own money, who bowed out of politics and announced to God and the world that he was gay and was going to pursue his gay lifestyle. Where are his old school morality about Arianna coming from at this late date in his life? What do you suppose his coming out to the world did to his daughters?

And there is little Gary Coleman, child movie star who still looks like a child, who is also running. There are no plans, no goals, these are all just presenting their bodies for the job and hoping that since this is a lottery state, they may win this lottery.

And, yes, there are the serious candidates and some who should not be taken seriously, Arnold (14 letters, too long to put on a ballot) Schwarzenegger, a body-building movie star who we find difficult to understand because of his Austrian accent. He is the name some Republicans are pushing. He should not be considered serious, but is California Hollywood or not?

The Democrats were trying to just push Gray Davis as the only choice of Democrats the public could vote for. What happened to these Democrats? Didn't they realize that Davis is the very man Californians hate the most? What does it take to get that idea across to them?

Davis actually went to court and asked that his name be placed on the ballot as an option for Californians to chose from if they vote him out of office. What type of reasoning is that? "Yes, we recall Gray Davis, but we want him to replace himself." How does the old song go? "Nothing from nothing leaves nothing, you gotta be something if you wanta be with me." This is old logic, but it is still good--if you throw out nothing, you won't replace it with the same nothing. This indicates how far out of touch Davis is. This boy is gone in both ways!

Arianna Huffington who has become a media star since she and husband divorced and he began practicing a openly gay lifestyle--and, yes, there were anti-gay slurs thrown in this circus. She is the darling of the progressives, Democrats, and liberals. She went from being a conservative with her Congressman husband to a brilliant and feisty liberal-moderate. She is serious and will trounce the hard-to-pronounce, 14-letters-four-syllables-Schwarzenegger in any debate. She is an Independent.

And the lone Democrat for governor is the one who should rightly follow Davis, Lt. Governor Bustamonte. He is Latino in a state that has a heavy Latino population. In spite of what Democrats were saying, Bustamonte decided to place his name on the ballot as well. And that may be the wisest move Democrats have stumbled upon.

All of this is only part of the circus-atmosphere surrounding the Gray Davis recall. But we have had a circus before. Californians have previously put B-rated movies stars into political offices: Senator Murphy was an actor, Ronald Reagan was an actor; Senator Bono, Cher's ex-husband, was a singer. We don't care about qualifications to function in certain positions. That is too cerebral for fun-loving, movie-going Californians; we just want to have fun. And fun it is to watch this confused and misguided horde of governor wannabes. Good luck, may the lucky person win. Is this what was meant about California falling into the sea--a sea of confusion?

Simond Griote

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