Gary N. Gray

Butterfly's Are Free

-Part Two-

One afternoon, while traveling to the elevator for work he runs into his next-door neighbor, who just happens to be a single woman his age. They talk for a while, going down the flights of floors. He tells her about his life; she tells him about her life. Both seem to enjoy each other. Goldie Hawn plays this woman; she has great, inquisitive questions, with inquisitive actions--the very same questions disabled folk get from the general public. Goldie finally invites herself over to his apartment for dinner. She offers to clean the house for him and help him whenever he needed it. At first he was very standoffish about her; he did not know what to think about her. 

You know how goofy Goldie can get, and, in this movie, she did not disappoint. One night they start talking about love and life in his apartment. He tells her how life is as a blind person. She tells him how it is being a single woman in New York.  She gets very close to him and plants a kiss on him, telling him how wonderful he is. On this night, they become lovers; something that he never expected, although he wanted it. 

Of course his mom comes by the next weekend for her weekly visit and notices the changes in her son and in the apartment. Goldie comes to the door with a dinner she has just made for him, and his mother immediately gets an attitude during Goldie’s visit. Goldie leaves, and the mother and son begin to talk. He is agitated because his mother does not trust his judgment in woman. She is agitated because she does not know this woman and wants the best for her son. Goldie just does not come up to her high standards.  

Again, the societal image disabled individuals don’t want or have a love or sex live. But this move smashes this image into little pieces. I love it. This subject just wears down a lot of disabled folk. The constant efforts to prove to society that yes we belong to this world and yes we can partake in every aspect of life in this world. Society wants the disabled to stay children, but disabled children grow up too. Disabled folk fall in love, get hurt in love, have children, and raise families. The disabled may do it a little differently than the non-disabled, but it still gets accomplished. 

The mother and son finally talk it out and make many needed compromises. The mother can see Goldie is good for him, and he is good for Goldie. She also knows that she does not have to worry about him day and night anymore. The mother finally leaves him alone, calling him only once a week instead of every night and limiting her visits to only once a month, instead of every weekend. Independence has finally come for this young, adventurous man. He finally has a life he can call his own. 

People always question a disabled person’s ability, not his or her disability. This movie tried to change people’s attitudes. America can pass all the laws it wants to make the disabled equal, but like the Civil Rights Laws of the 60’s, change must come from the hearts and minds of the American people.                            

This movie was one of the first disabled love stories that went mainstream. Porgy & Bess would be the other, some 20 years ago. Porgy and Bess was a sad movie, but Butterfly’s are Free, made you happy and made you enjoy all of the characters. This movie also magnifies the battle for independence by disabled young adults. Society will not allow you to grow up like non-disabled peoples.  

I’m waiting for a Black version of Butterfly’s are Free. I’m waiting for a steamy hot love affair with Black disabled actors and actresses. What fun that would be.[]

THAT IS THE GRAY LINE